Mr. President! Let me begin this Cupboard assembly by thanking you for hanging the moon and organizing the nation, and the universe, in such an ideal means. The moon appears to be like nice the place you set it. All the pieces you contact turns to gold, until you would like it to show to brass.
Now that now we have distributed with the pleasantries, I do have a tiny query: Have you learnt that you’re additionally allowed to fireplace males? Actually, you’re! Males are allowed to depart the Cupboard too.
As one of many final remaining girls on this Cupboard, I felt compelled to ask. Not for me, after all. For my sisters!
I actually can not consider a worse place to have a feminist awakening than as a member of Donald Trump’s Cupboard, watching the departures of Pam Bondi however not Kash Patel, and Kristi Noem however not Pete Hegseth, and Lori Chavez-DeRemer however not Robert F. Kennedy Jr. In fact, that isn’t what that is. I might sooner die than have a feminist awakening. Clearly, I’m conscious of the patriarchy, however I’ve all the time believed that I may make it work for me, personally, if I simply used the appropriate hair merchandise and smiled extra.
I’m simply questioning: Do I’ve a future right here? I’m doing all the pieces that everybody else is doing. I’ve a face. I’ve a jet. I’ve incompetence. I bathe the president with reward at each Cupboard assembly. (See above.) However the place is the ironclad job safety, the sense that, it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m nonetheless an important a part of the staff? Ought to I be consuming extra? Snorkeling extra? Each?
I’ll say I assumed that it will be completely different once I agreed to serve. I assumed, Nicely, this man has no respect for ladies. However he additionally has no respect for any sort of particular person! I can construct on that. “Put me in, Coach,” I stated then.
Now there are simply 4 of us left. I actually thought that Tulsi’s willingness to conduct purges, peddle conspiracies, and forged doubt on the integrity of the final election would have endeared her to you extra. However I additionally thought that about Pam.
Pay attention, should you had been assembling a Cupboard purely on capacity, none of us can be right here. That’s the good factor bringing all of us right here at the moment: Whether or not we’re male or feminine, outdated or younger, white or nonwhite, the one factor that binds us is our shared absence of benefit.
But when I had been eliminating individuals for doing a nasty job, I would definitely decide both the man who’s bringing again measles or the man who’s bringing again the flu—two distinct guys, every of whom is placing hundreds of thousands of lives at stake. Should you spun me round (please don’t spin me round; my hair shouldn’t be geared up) on this room and I pointed at random, I might hit somebody deserving of being fired. Or a chair. Or certainly one of a number of fashions of a ballroom or an arch.
I do know you could have stated, “No scalps.” Are you working below the misapprehension that girls don’t have scalps? This looks like the form of factor you may imagine. I don’t know anymore.
I’m no feminist. Clearly. I’m within the Trump Cupboard. However that is the form of factor that makes me surprise about his outlook on the world! Not that we’re making an attempt to record contraception as an environmentally noxious substance. Not the elevated degree of joking-but-not-joking about eradicating our proper to vote, or having households all vote collectively below the person’s steerage. I do know Pete Hegseth’s pastor is aware of what I’m speaking about!
I’m detached to all of that. I’m speaking about my very own private profession right here, and I do must surprise should you’re holding the incompetent girls in your Cupboard to the identical customary because the incompetent males. Is that this some form of Girls and Youngsters First scenario? Are you actually going to attend for all of us to depart earlier than anybody else is allowed to go?
I suppose I simply thought I might be safer right here—that if I joined up, they wouldn’t come for me. I’m not imagined to be the one below the bus. I’m imagined to be the one throwing different girls there.
